Waiting for the Unexpected

What do you want to be when you grow up?

I’ve never been the biggest planner when it comes to life and career. It’s not that I’ve just floated along. I’ve worked hard. Sometimes probably too hard. I’ve always done my best to do a good job. I’ve never avoided taking responsibility. And I’ve been happy to lead and take decisions.

But I’ve never thought that far ahead about what I’ll do next or where I want to go. I’ve focused on where I’m at now. I’ve met other people along the way, so fired up by their own aspirations, that they forgot that they still had a job to do and a life outside of work to live.

I’ve aspired to be safe and secure financially – to have a job that I enjoyed and that stimulated my mind – and to be loved by someone that I loved right back.

I didn’t have a career plan. Of course, I had those childhood ideas that changed on a daily basis. Maybe I would be a geologist – an idea driven by an awe-inspiring visit to the Blue John Cavern in the Peak District. Or maybe a vet – I loved animals, but it didn’t take long for me to catch on to the fact that I wasn’t likely to get the grades at school. Or maybe a graphic artist – until I was pushed towards science as I wasn’t deemed artsy enough. Oh and then there’s the near miss - when I was offered a part on the London stage in a production of The King and I – a story for another day.

I remember that the school careers questionnaire proposed jobs like ‘shoe designer’ and other unrealistic suggestions. When I was around sixteen, I was sent on a week-long work experience to a hospital. I was put on a ward full of old ladies who all seemed to be fixated about having someone to rub their feet. And they were convinced that someone was me!

My poor little, naive, shy, teenage self was utterly freaked out. I ran for the hills at the end of that first day. I called in ‘sick’ with a fake cold the next morning and hid at home for the rest of the week. Only later did I find out that the school picked that placement for me because they’d assumed (wrongly) that I wanted to study medicine at university.

I gravitated to things I liked to do - things that I thought I was good at - and things that made me the most money. I worked in a clothing store – first part-time and later full-time. I loved clothes and sitting on the till taking customers money always gave me a buzz.

But that’s not why I applied to work there. Anyone brought up in the UK in the 1980’s will likely remember C&A and their rainbow logo which loomed over most high streets. My Gran always called them ‘Coats an’ (h)ats’, but they were really named after the founders Clemens & August Brenninkmeijer. All the men in that family were incredibly tall so you could never miss them when they tried to sneak into the shop on an undercover visit. It never failed to amuse the staff. I’m sure you needed to know that – not!

So back to the point. Why did I pick C&A as my employer of choice? It was simple. They paid the highest of the shops in our town. Yes dear readers, even at sixteen I had surveyed them all to find the highest hourly rate before applying for a job.

Years later I fell into a long career in business-to-business sales. I didn’t plan it. I didn’t really consider if it was the right thing to do. I didn’t think about whether it would be what I wanted to do for the next 20 years. But it paid well. Do you see a theme developing here?

I wasn’t even sure that I was a true ‘sales person’. I might have worked in a shop for nine years, but in my head I still wasn’t in sales. Back then my stereotypical salesperson was a man in a cheap suit, wearing white sports socks in shiny shoes, and with a cheesy grin stretched across his oily face.

Someone else saw my potential. Someone who knew me well. Someone who was convinced that I already had sales skills that I could build on and could use my innate believability in front of a customer.

It took a lot of effort to convince me, I teetered on the edge, and in the end I trusted him. That person changed the course of my life in the best way – both at work and at home – resulting in both my move to Denmark and my meeting Kim.

I’m not a fatalist, but sometimes you must accept the fact that you can’t control every element of the world around you. However much you want to...

Our lives can go in so many directions. At certain points you can’t avoid putting yourself out there. Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone to set your sights on a new path. Once that direction has been set, then you have to trust. Go with the flow – let things roll – let things be – stay open to new things - and simply see what happens.

I can’t help but believe that the right thing will happen at the right time. It always has in the past – whether I realized it or not – and why should that change. I’m on the road to somewhere. I’m just not sure exactly what that somewhere will look like. Perhaps it will be a total surprise. Or maybe it will be far more obvious than I’ve imagined.

Sometimes the waiting is hard. Sometimes it takes longer than you’d like. Sometimes you’re just dying to move forwards. But it can’t be rushed. Energy or other events need to align. Drop into place. Things will happen – even if we don’t know exactly when that will be.

I’ll turn fifty-eight next month. Somehow writing that out instead of using the numbers makes it a little more palatable. In my head I’m still enjoying my thirties. Perhaps I shouldn’t still be thinking about what I want to be when I grow up, but I still have plenty of time to grow, evolve, and do new things. So why not?

I’ve set a direction to do something that is no longer about earning the most money. Or perhaps even any money at all. That’s totally new for me. I’m way, way, way outside my comfort zone. And I’m trying to come to terms with that each day. I do better on some days than on others. My commitment has wavered. But I’m going to keep on going.

So right now I’m waiting for the unexpected. Waiting to see where life takes me. What happens next?

I’d love to hear from you - what did you want to be when you grew up? Or what do you now want to be when you grow up?

Picture credit: I had no idea which picture to add to this post so thought something appropriately ‘unexpected’ would be a good idea. Here’s one of my own photos of a pig we met in the Bahamas last week who is not only taking a paddle, but will dive in for a swim if there’s the chance of being the first to greet a bunch of tourists on a boat with a bag of carrots!